brettney spears susan

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Wedding Delayed, Again

Nobody should be surprised by this morning's news of yet another postponement of the big day, now that CBS confirms that Brett has survived the penultimate week on Pulau Tiga. With only one week remaining, Brett's unbelievable endurance is a tribute to his leadership skills and personal charisma on the mysterious Toyota Tribe. 

brett on survivor island

Brett, pictured here with islandmates, could not be reached for comment, but Susan is said to be in "positive" spirits.  "I'm getting used to it" she said.  "It's not like this hasn't happened several dozen times already.  Do you think I wanted to get married in September?!"

The announcement containing the news from Brett arrived by e-mail sometime yesterday evening.

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(updated weekly)

Top 10 Reasons Why She Might Be Marrying Him

10. his extensive collection of nametags and hairnets

 9.  secret fascination with junkyards
 8.  the lingering scent of eau de Jeep in her memory
 7.  his connections
 6.  that call of the seminarian
 5.  two words: "dillon, montana"
 4.  his knowledge of fine wines
 3.  finding him in the kitchen once was one time too many
 2.  no longer makes that clicking sound when he chews
 1.  fear that, otherwise, the silage-in-the-ceiling
episode might come back to really haunt her

Top Ten Archive


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