10.09.01 Kent, Ohio As hundreds worldwide logged on in eager anticipationtion, Mrs. Susan B. Downer Tallman completed approximately thirty-seven minutes of labor and brought a beautiful, shiny baby into an anxiously waiting world.
Further details have been shrouded behind a veil of mystery, as Project WebChild kicks into high gear. Project WebChild--reportedly a late-night brainstorm of the proud papa--will allow the Tallmans' international fanclub to participate fully in the creation of the young'un's internet persona. "The responsibility is huge," Brett explained. "Something as simple as the choice of e-mail address can have lifelong consequences in todays internet-savvy world."
"Let alone all the other details that a child unable even to lift its own head is saddled with from the moment of birth," agreed the barely flushed Susan. "Brett ... we agreed that we have never needed our friends and family more than in this time of decisions."
"Please help us name our baby!" an exhausted Brett uttered before collapsing onto the Tallman duffel bags, revealing a dozen sets of hospital scrubs which had been hastily jammed beneath Susan's nightgown and hairdryer.
In a written statement released by their family attorney, these basic facts were clarified:
Negotiations with hospital
administration for Brett to rent cot space in the laundry have stalled.
Copyright © 2001 The
Pirate Blackbeard. Avast!
Top 10 Nicknames for the Li'l Nipper
10. La Bebe No-Maybe
9. Whopper Jr.
8. Princess Poopsies
7. Smallman Tallman
6. Mugu Goo-goo
5. Little Sir Spitsalot
4. Have Diaper, Will Share
3. The Amish Mewling
2. Herr Gottmilk?
1. The Bubbling Bundle