JSA: I dunno. Maybe they want to find out about themselves. Maybe they want to bring back old memories or feelings that they long forgot. Maybe they want to bring things out in the open that they never told. Or perhaps they just do it so people can get to know them better, or maybe...
JSQ: Maybe they have to do it for an English grade?
JSA: ....Yeah well that too...
JSQ: Well, why beat around the bush. I want to get this done ASAP. I don't want to sit around here forever, I have other things to do.
JSA: Yeah I have things to do too.
JSQ: You have other things to do also?
JSA: Well no, they are the same things as you, we are the same person you know.
JSQ: Oh yeah. Well, now that's all said and done, first question. Do you consider yourself a patient person?
JSA: Dumb question.
JSQ: Why is that?
JSA: Didn't you learn anything at the beginning of this paragraph?
JSQ: Oh yeah, well is it safe to say you always get things done on time?
JSA: Hell no, you on drugs? I just want to get them done. I didn't say anything about on time. I'm the king of procrastination.
JSQ: I think you're the king of BS.
JSA: I don't think so. But I would be late to my own funeral, so to say.
JSQ: Well what are you doing to take care of your problem?
JSA: Who said that was a problem? I don't have a problem with it. As long as I'm happy with it, you only live life once you know....
JSQ: I know....
JSA: So who the hell remembers if you could do things on time after you're dead? Who cares? I've been late to work five minutes every day since I started, and it doesn't mean a damn thing. Point is, you have so many things to live for, so many experiences, endeavors. Punctuality isn't one of them.
JSQ: Amen. Second question. What kind of music is your favorite?
JSA: You mean now?
JSQ: Yeah.
JSA: Well, that's not so simple. You see I grew up in the eighties and nineties, so I like that music. Mostly rock, harder stuff. Very little rap. None of that country, "Oh my achy breaky heart". But by the time I'm thirty I'll still be listening to the same stuff so then it will be oldies.
JSQ: Is that all?
JSA: Well no, not till I turn sixty then I will listen to polkas.
JSQ: Good God why?
JSA: I'm polish, it's like tradition.
JSQ: Ooooooo-kay. Whatever.
JSA: If you play it on the accordion, he will come.
JSQ: We should really go to the next topic now. Say just by chance you are going to a desert island, what three things would you take?
JSA: Why would I go to a desert isle?
JSQ: I don't know, maybe you're being deported or something. What do you take?
JSA: Easy. Cindy Crawford, Niki Taylor, and that girl from the soft lips commercial, Leslie.
JSQ: I don't think those count as items. Those are people.
JSA: Oh, too bad. Well, I guess I'd bring a comb for my hair, some toothpaste, and a toothbrush.
JSQ: Beauty products? On a deserted island? Who the hell is gonna see you?
JSA: Well I have to be rescued sometime, could be a girl......
JSQ: Humph. Well why don't you bring a tent for some privacy.
JSA: Ooooh good idea. I'll scratch out the comb.
JSQ: You're crazy. You have to be.
JSA: Certifiably. I've got the letter framed on my wall.
JSQ: Well, tell me about some special moment in your life.
JSA: Well there was that time in Paris, in that cafe. Oh the coffee was great, and the waiter, what was his name. Oh yeah, Jean-Luke!
JSQ: Oh boy.
JSA: No really, I guess all the moments I spend with my friends are special. I can remember doing alot of things with them, too many that I can't repeat cause the statute of limitations isn't up yet.
JSQ: You mean...
JSA: Yep. I willfully decline to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.
JSQ: If you could change one thing that ever happened...
JSA: My cousin's death. The day he died was the saddest day of my life. He was only seventeen, seven months older than me. That's just way to young to die.
JSQ: If you could change one thing about mankind...
JSA: That dumb pinkie toe....it's totally useless.
JSQ: Not quite my point but I know what you mean. I'll just go with that.
JSQ: What was the scariest moment of your life?
JSA: The car accident. I was driving along the road and this guy turned in front of me, so I slammed the brakes and ended up smashing his car. I thought I killed him, he didn't move. He was just unconscious. For ten minutes I thought I was going to jail for life. I thought my life was over. I was actually thinking about running, but I had no where to go. But it wasn't that bad. Just two ten thousand dollars cars ruined.
JSQ: Do you hate anybody?
JSA: Yeah, the bastard I hit! He's trying to sue me for a million dollars, and it was his fault!
JSQ: What's gonna happen?
JSA: Well, we will end up going to court, and he'll lose.
JSQ: Do you have any bad habits?
JSA: Well I bite my nails. Not much else. I drink sometimes but I don't think that's a habit but it is bad for you. I tried pot one time in Arkansas but I didn't inhale.
JSQ: Oh sure. What do you love?
JSA: Oh plenty of things. I love my family. A whole bunch of other stuff, like a Mega double combo from Burger King, a can of Mr. Pibb, and a TV station that'll play nothing but Star Wars and John Cusak movies. I think I love my girlfriend the most. I love it when she tells me that she loves me. It makes me feel special.
JSQ: Last question. You have one goal in life, what is it?
JSA: To win the lottery. I'd be set. I'd quit my stinking job. I'd take off of work for a wile, take a trip around the world, or go on a cruise. I'm not sure. With that kind of money I would have time to decide. Of course I'd probably take off of school for a while. Or better yet, I could buy the school. That way I could grade my own papers. For this one, I give myself an "A".