Anguished English

(This column was first published in the July 30, 2001 Buffalo News.)

    Just a month ago English teachers across the country finished correcting final themes and many will sent additional examples to Richard Lederer to add to hiscollection of fractured language. His two books, Anguished English (Wyrick & Company, 1987) and The Bride of Anguished English (St. Martin's Press, 2000), are worth many laughs.

    I've been interested in these kinds of malapropisms, misspellings, misplaced modifiers and confused metaphors ever since one of my university students wrote that his idea should be "taken for granite."

    I offer a few of Lederer's collected examples that apply to natural history:

ASTRONOMY

BIRDS

BOTANY

DISEASE AND MEDICINE

FISH

ARTHROPODS

GEOLOGY AND GEOGRAPHY

MAMMALS

PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY

WEATHER

GENERAL

    We had better be able to laugh at these examples for most of us have contributed to them.-- Gerry Rising