Quotes and Tidbits Gathered over Time!

    1.	The obscure we see eventually.
        The completely apparent takes a little longer
						-- Edward R. Morrow     

2. Lord, please grant me patience ... and hurry up!

3. Always keep a record of data -- it indicates you've been working. -- Finagles Second Law

4. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -- Carl Sagan

5. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. -- Ogden's Law

6. Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. -- Wernher von Braun

7. There's no problem a good miracle can't solve. -- Shick's Law

8. Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. -- Leonard Brandwein

9. If u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.

10. 186,000 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!

11. Imagination is more important than knowledge. -- A. Einstein

12. I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. -- Isaac Asimov

13. We all live in a yellow subroutine.

14. Old items never die, They just become ERROR references.

15. There are ten million stories in the Naked City. But no one can remember which one is theirs. -- Laurie Anderson

16. The meek may inherit the Earth, but they won't get the mineral rights. -- John D. Rockefeller

17. Time is just nature's way of preventing everything from happening at once.

18. Death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down.

19. If God had meant for us to go to rock concerts, he would have given us tickets.

20. If God had meant for us to fly coach, she would have made us smaller.

21. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

22. A true sadist is a person who is kind to a masochist.

23. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve. -- Napoleon Hill

24. To iterate is human, to recurse divine.

25. There is no such thing as new development, only radical maintenance. -- Charles W. Bachman

26. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice.. there's no similarity between theory and practice.

27. Paradise is exactly like where you are right now, only much much better. -- Laurie Anderson

28. There are eight different ways to insert a floppy disk into a drive, but only one of them is interesting.

29. Overdrawn at the memory bank?

30. Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. -- Earl Asquith

31. Life is like an ice cream cone. You have to lick it fast or it will drip all over you. -- Rev. Jim Ignitowski (Taxi)

32. I shop, therefore I am. Tammy Bakker and Imelda Marcos

33. Warp 5 A speed we can live with

34. Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. -- Isaac Asimov

35. It doesn't matter how old you are - what's important is when you were born. -- Leslie Thomas

36. The stupidity of the action is directly proportional to the probability of someone watching.

37. All science is either physics or stamp collecting. -- Ernest Rutherford

38. No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with details.

39. Whatever you do, you'll regret it. -- Allan McLeod Gray 1905-75

40. In waking a tiger, use a long stick. -- Mao Tse-Tung 1893-1976

41. One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged. -- Heinrich Heine 1797-1856

42. Dear Lord, give me chastity and self-restraint... but not yet, O Lord, not yet! -- Saint Augustine A.D. 354-430

43. Violence never settles anything. -- Genghis Khan 1162-1227

44. The truth is the one thing that nobody will believe. -- George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950

45. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

46. We learn from history that we learn nothing from history. -- George Wilhelm Hegel

47. If you torture the data long enough, you can make it confess to anything.

48. If you want to be happy, start now! -- Will Powers

49. The greater your problem, the greater your opportunity! -- Will Powers

50. Your problem is a gift, to help you change! -- Will Powers

51. Ninety percent of everything is crud. -- Theodore Sturgeon

52. Writing is not a full-time occupation. -- Ernest Hemingway

53. Success is never final. -- Ken Holt/DSI

54. Doo onto others before they doo onto you. -- Big Bird

55. Delay is the deadliest form of denial. -- C. Northcote Parkinson

56. Time's fun when you're having flies!! -- Kermit the Frog

57. Eat, drink, and lighten up, for tomorrow you might get audited! -- ALF

58. Friends with presents are the best kind of friends! -- ALF

59. The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first. -- Blaise Pascal

60. A morsel of genuine history is a thing so rare as to be always valuable. -- Thomas Jefferson

61. A person with one watch knows what time it is; a person with two watches is never sure.

62. Worry is interest paid on a debt not due.

63. A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle unless there be two. -- Seneca

64. Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced- even a proverb is no proverb to you till your life has illustrated it. -- John Keats

65. What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens. -- Benjamin Disraeli

66. For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat, and wrong. -- H. L. Mencken

67. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. -- Matthew 2:5-7

68. I can only assume that a Do Not File document is filed in a Do Not File file. Senator Frank Church Senate Intelligence Subcommittee Hearing, 1975

69. You can observe a lot just by watching. -- Yogi Berra

70. If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of a circuit, I see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted instantaneously by electricity. -- Samuel F. B. Morse

71. Win if you can, lose if you must but always cheat. -- Just for you, Mom.

72. There's nothing as practical as a good theory. -- Kurt Lewin

73. The man who does not work for the love of work but only for the love of money is not likely to make money nor find much fun in life.

74. Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now! -- Victor Frankl

75. Life is short, but it's wide. -- Maxine Sellers, 1975

76. The paperless office today makes about as much sense as a paperless toilet. -- Amy Wohl

77. To be any gender is a drag. -- Patti Smith

78. There are no accidents. -- Deborah Harry

79. There are no hidden meanings. -- Sheldon Kopp

80. Love is not enough, but it sure helps. -- Sheldon Kopp

81. The only victory lies in surrender to oneself. -- Sheldon Kopp

82. All of the significant battles are waged within the self. -- Sheldon Kopp

83. As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. -- Thomas Edison

84. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers

85. The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. -- Anatole France

86. Language is a form of organized stutter. -- Marshall McLuhan

87. Diplomacy is the art of saying nice doggie until you can find a rock. -- Wynn Catlin

88. If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you'll be fired with enthusiasm. -- Vince Lombardi

89. Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it. -- Weller's Law

90. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. -- Mae West

91. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. -- Gloria Steinem

92. I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. -- Woody Allen

93. A planned life can only be endured.

94. The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were news. -- David Brinkley 95. Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth -- to see it like it is, and tell it like it is -- to find the truth, to speak the truth, and to live the truth. -- Richard Nixon accepting the presidential nomination in 1968

96. All I have is natural ability. -- Mickey Mantle

97. When the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if it's a nail. -- Abraham Maslow

98. If there are no problems, only opportunities to excel, what do you call solutions? -- David Auberson

99. If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. -- John Kenneth Galbraith

100. The highest purpose is to have no purpose at all. -- John Cage

101. What a long, strange trip it's been -- Grateful Dead

102. In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. -- Andy Warhol

103. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. -- Nikita Khrushchev

104. I can't type. I can't file. I can't even answer the phone. -- Elizabeth Ray

105. I could prove God statistically. -- George Gallup, Jr.

106. God invented man, and man invented the metric system. -- Salvador Dali

107. It requires a certain kind of mind to see beauty in a hamburger bun. Yet, is it any more unusual to find grace in the texture and softly curved silhouette of a bun than to reflect lovingly on the arrangement of textures and colors in a butterfly's wing? -- Ray Kroc

108. Automation does not cut red tape - it perforates it.

109. The hard part about doing nothing is knowing when you're through.

110. The only sad part about this election is that someone is going to win!

111. Truth is in all things, even, partly, in error. -- Jean-Luc Goddard

112. No condition is permanent.

113. Knowledge is good. -- Emil Faber, 1904

114. Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one. -- A. J. Liebling

115. Blessed are Those Who Run Around in Circles For Theirs Is the Revolution -- Zeke Hoskin

116. Everything is true or not true on a continuum of 0 to 100 percent. -- Dick Eagleson 11/30/1988

117. If an answer doesn't seem right, ask another question. EVERYTHING is the answer to something! -- Dr. Science

118. Do what you want. If you can't do what you want, do what you can. -- Ingrid Sunday

119. There are lies, damn lies, and STATISTICS! -- Benjamin Disraeli

120. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

121. No matter where you go, there you are. -- Buckaroo Banzai

122. But let your statement be; Yes, yes or No, no and anything beyond these is of evil. -- Matthew Chapter 5, Verse 37

123. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -- Albert Einstein

124. We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. -- Kurt Vonnegut

125. In science, one can learn the most by studying what seems the least. -- Marvin Minsky

126. You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something. -- Seymour Papert

127. A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home. -- Chinese Proverb

128. If people who do not understand each other at least understand that they do not understand each other, then they understand each other better than when, not understanding each other, they do not even understand that they do not understand each other.

-- Gustav Ischheiser Appearances and Realities

129. The past isn't dead. It isn't even past. -- William Faulkner

130. A program is like a nose. Sometimes it runs. Sometimes it blows. -- Howard Rose

131. If you lived here you'd be home now.

132. If you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job. -- Malcom Forbes

133. If a thousand monkeys typed on a thousand typewriters for an infinite amount of time, they might eventually produce all the works of Shakespeare, but they would NEVER get a successful NCP gen. -- Don Hughes - IDD

134. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Pablo Picasso

135. The customer is always right at least some of the time. -- Yogi Berra

136. When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary. -- William Wrigley

137. There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. -- Oscar Wilde

138. Love is simply not enough...complexly, however, it is enough. -- Robert Pack - May day, 1989

139. Sneezing is one of the three most pleasurable things that a human being can experience. -- Chris Kruse - May, 1989

140. Beauty will be convulsive or not at all. -- Nadja

141. We know how to give our whole life everyday. -- a. rimbaud

142. Language is a virus from outer space. -- William S. Burroughs

143. Persig's Postulate: The number of rational hypotheses that can explain any given phenomenon is infinite.

144. I've found that you don't need to wear a necktie if you can hit. -- Ted Williams

145. Without losers, you couldn't have winners. -- Casey Stengel

146. There's three things you can do in a baseball game: you can win, or you can lose, or it can rain. -- Casey Stengel

147. Most ball games are lost, not won. -- Casey Stengel

148. The urgent never leaves us time for the important.

149. We made too many wrong mistakes. -- Yogi Berra

150. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff!

151. A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. -- Yogi Berra

152. The game's not over until it's over. -- Yogi Berra

153. Golly, I dunno...I just don't think this 'Power of Positive Thinking' stuff is EVER gonna work. -- Robert Pack, June 9, 1989 15:31

154. Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans. -- John Lennon

155. By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.

156. Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also very full of the overcoming of it. -- Helen Keller

157. Never allow a repair to interfere with preventive maintenance. -- Marty Halperin, Sperry Univac

158. Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.

159. All men are created equal. Women are created superior.

160. Never trust a stranger with your heart. -- Kim Wilde

161. It's my attitude, not my aptitude, that determines my altitude. -- Martin Luther King. Jr.

162. The rules are...there are no rules. -- Transvision Vamp

163. Success is credibility...credibility is success -- Transvision Vamp

164. Minds are what brains do. -- Marvin Minsky

165. You haven't lost your mind; it's just backed up on tape somewhere.

166. It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole. -- Laurie Anderson

167. Hell hath no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor no fury like a woman scorned. -- William Congreve

168. In our country, Goodbye looks just like Hello. -- Laurie Anderson

169. You only live once. Go for it!

170. Respect for the President!? Are you kidding? I've got dandruff that's older than this country! -- ALF

171. Preconceived notions are the locks on the doors to knowledge.

172. Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense. -- Robert Frost

173. As part of the cost-saving effort, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice.

174. Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you will be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

175. If you can't make a mistake, you can't make anything.

176. I'll be damned if I will defend to the death your right to say something that's statistically incorrect.

177. Sometimes I think that the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. -- Calvin

178. The flogging will continue ... until the morale improves.

179. If you are not the lead dog... the view never changes.

180. Growing old is mandatory ... Growing up is optional.

181. Your attitude is the memory of your heart.

182. There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.

183. A job well planned is a job half done.

184. Why are you so addicted to something that is so toxic for you? -- Dr. Joe Alessi

185. You don't have to be a martyr anymore.

186. I had no shoes and I complained, until I met a man who had no feet.

187. If you bury your feelings, you bury them alive.

188. Sooner or later, the body will present its bill.

189. The way out is through.

190. Without a hurt, the heart is hollow.

191. The new computer is a piece of junk. I really wish they'd sell it. It never does a thing I want; only what I tell it. AUTHOR UNKNOWN

192. You are the only one you will never lose or leave.

193. There are places in the heart that do not yet exist.

194. I am NOT tense! just VERY alert

195. Don't broadcast your troubles. There's no market for them.

196. WYSIWYG - What you see is what you get. WYDSIWYW - What you don't see is what you want.

197. Are we live or on tape?

198. If you are good, you'll be assigned all the work. If you are really good you'll get out of it.

199. A man of quality, does not fear a woman seeking equality

200. Only a mediocre person is always at his or her best.

201. When you win, say little. When you lose, say less.

202. Life on earth is only your penultimate location.

203. Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

204. Blessed is he who expects no gratitude for he shall not be disappointed.

205. The "think positive" leader tends to listen to his subordinates only during the postmortems.

206. Why are my parents still able to push all my buttons? That's easy. They installed them.

207. There is nothing wrong with America that can't be corrected by what is right with America. President Bill Clinton Inaugural Address, Jan. '93

208. We shall find a way, or make one.

209. The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

210. Never attribute to malice, that which can be explained by mere stupidity.

211. Life is turning out to be a made-for-TV docudrama that no one can turn off.

212. I know you believe you understand what it is that you think I said, but I'm not sure that you realize that what I said is not what I meant. Richard Nixon to the Press Corp

213. Be not the first by whom the new is tried, nor the last to lay the old aside.

214. Statistics - a way of never having to say anything for certain.

215. If your ship is slow in coming in, swim out to it.

216. You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.

217. Only God is in a position to look down on anyone.

218. To believe with certainty, we must begin by doubting.

219. All growth, including political growth, is the result of risk taking.

220. A lie has speed, but the truth has endurance.

221. Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore. That's what parents were created for.

222. God said it; I believe it; and that's that. -- magnet on my Dad's refrigerator

223. It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.

224. In the long run people hit only what they aim at.

225. Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.

226. The first rule of holes: when you are in one, stop digging.

227. A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

228. The best proof of love is trust.

229. You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

230. If you can't hold children in your arms, please hold then in your heart.

231. Pay attention to your enemies, for they are first to discover your mistakes.

232. How a person masters his fate is more important than what his fate is.

233. Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time.

234. Just because good advice can be expensive, doesn't mean expensive advice is good.

235. You can't please all people all the time; so don't go crazy trying.

236. Life is difficult, but it is good practice.

237. Not all contradictions need to be resolved; not all problems need to be solved -- certainly not immediately.

238. Don't ever take a fence down, until you know why it was put up.

239. What you first say is what you first mean.

240. You are the master of your fate, and the captain of our soul.

241. Take only memories. Leave not even footprints.

242. Leaving everyone somewhat dissatisfied, is said to be the mark of a good compromise.

243. You are remembered for the rules you break. -- Douglas MacArthur.

244. Life is difficult; misery is optional.

245. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. -- George Eliot

246. There's nothing like shooting off your mouth and hitting yourself in the foot!

247. Our hope is living on the edge of positive expectations. -- Rev. Tom Stewart July 10, 1994

248. Between the beautiful buds of Spring and the flaming colors of Autumn, we have Summer in Vermont. This year it was on a Wednesday.

249. Everybody has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

250. What we do depends on how we feel about what we know.

251. Take time to understand and lend a gentle helping hand.

252. If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance! -- G.B. Shaw

253. Life is short, art is long, opportunity fugitive, experimenting dangerous, and reasoning difficult.

254. A phrase appropriate to ALL situations ... This too shall pass.

255. Knowledge is the power that gives us wings to soar.

256. This is a strange game. The only way to win is not to play. -- WOPR (War Games)

257. Man is good enough to make democracy happen, and evil enough to make it necessary. -- Reinhold Niebur - c. 1944 Princeton University

258. If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

259. A wise man does not break the silence until he can improve on it.

260. Thousands of years ago Egyptians worshipped cats, and cats have never forgotten this.

261. A man too often shows his worst side to his better half!! -- Salada tea bag saying

262. A university is what a college becomes when faculty lose interest in teaching.

263. Love cannot be begged, borrowed or stolen; it can only be given away.

264. The trouble with you gringos is that you think manana means 'tomorrow'. What it really means is 'not todaaaay.' -- Enrique A. G. Nov. 86

265. Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them!

266. The golf tenets of life: play it as it lies; walk until you can't; count 'em all; and pay attention to nature.

267. Why torture yourself when life will do it for you.

268. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

269. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

270. Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

271. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

272. Better to understand a little then to misunderstand alot.

273. I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

274. Okay. Who put the "stop payment" on my reality check?

275. Few woman admit their age. Few men act theirs.

276. We have enough youth. What about a fountain of SMART?

277. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

278. Nothing will happen to me today that the Lord and I can't handle.

279. The Lottery: a tax for people who do not understand statistics.

280. Life is short; eat dessert first.

281. Passion rules, but she never rules wisely.

282. Management, like trees, dies first at the top.

283. Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech.

284. Nothing will divide this nation more than ignorance, and nothing can bring us together better than an educated population.

285. The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor. -- Vince Lombardi

286. A dog wags its tail with its heart.

287. Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.

288. If you risk nothing, then you risk everything.

289. Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them.

290. Only a fool tests the water with both feet.

291. Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.

292. Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation,

293. Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will, sooner or later, have to find time for illness.

294. Words of comfort, skillfully administered, are the oldest therapy known to man.

295. Experience comes from bad judgment.

296. There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes even if you lose, you win.

297. Count no day lost in which you waited your turn, took only your share, and sought advantage over no one.

298. One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.

299. Some people change their ways when they see the light; others when they feel the heat.

300. The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement.

301 Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods.

302. Characters live to be noticed. People with character notice how they live.

303. Righteousness is easy in retrospect.

304. Only love can be divided endlessly and still not diminish.

305. Hot words make for a cool friendship.

306. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

307. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

308. For those who fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know.

309. The service you render is the price you pay for the space you occupy on this earth.

310. An optimist invented the airplane; the pessimist, a parachute.

311. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

312. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

313. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

314. Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.

315. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

316. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

317. Every morning is the dawn of a new error...

318. A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.

319. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

320. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

321. Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have the time. -- Tallulah Bankhead

322. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

323. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

324. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

325. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

326. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

327. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

328. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

329. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

330. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

331. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

332. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

333. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

334. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

335. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

336. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

337. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

338. Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

339. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

340. Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

341. Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.

342. Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

343. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

344. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

345. The wise man knows how little he knows; it is the foolish person who imagines he knows everything. -- Jawajarial Nehru

346. Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.

347. Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

348. Dain bramaged.

349. Department of Redundancy Department

350. Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!

351. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

352. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

353. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

354. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

355. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

356. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

357. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

358. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.



361. <-------- The information went data way -------->

362. Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

363. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

364. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

365. The name is Baud......, James Baud.

366. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

367. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah na!

368. C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

369. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..

370. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

371. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

372. Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.

373. E Pluribus Modem

374. >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

375. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

376. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

377. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

378. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?

379. Does fuzzy logic tickle?

380. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

381. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

382. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

383. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

384. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

385. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

386. Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

387. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

388. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

389. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

390. All computers wait at the same speed.

391. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

392. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...

393. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

394. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

395. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

396. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

397. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

398. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

399. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

400. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981


402. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

403. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

404. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

405. Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

406. If I am not for myself who will be? But if I am only for myself, then what am I? If not now, when? Hillel

407. He who has no fire in himself cannot warm others.

408. A bureaucrat is a person who cuts red tape ... lengthwise.

409. Faith is not a shelter against all difficulties, but a belief in the face of all contradictions.

410. Pain is hard to bear ... but with patience, day by day, even this shall pass away. -- Theodore Tilton

411. The dark or sick days need not be seen as bad days, for they often prompt our deepest reflection and, in some cases, a change of lifestyle. In this sense, then, one can look upon darkness or disease not as an end, but as a beginning of growth. -- Eileen Rockefeller Growald

412. If there must be trouble, let it be in my time, that my children may have peace.

413. You can't turn back the clock, but you can wind it up, again.

414. Do it right or do it over. Which do you prefer?

415. Happiness is a decision. -- Andy McKnight

416. Ignorance is curable; stupidity is forever.

417. Problems that go away by themselves, come back by themselves.

418. It's the people who have a passion for what they do that make a difference in this world. -- Dr. Juanita Hunter

419. Well, they're outnumbered. (private joke)

420. He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.

421. You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.

422. If you had everything, where would you put it?

423. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

424. Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.

425. There are two major products to come out of Berkeley; LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

426. In the struggle to impose logic on obscurity, simple stubbornness can sometimes win. .

427. What did the snail say, when he rode on the back of a turtle? WHEEEEEEEEEE!

428. ... to hear angels whisper, you must listen with your heart.

429. God put me on earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I am so far behind, I may never die.

430. All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare. -- Benedict Spinoza

431. Thinking is the hardest work there is ... which is why so few people engage in it. -- Henry Ford

432. Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. -- J. Leahy

433. When I was a kid, I believed that anyone could become president. Now I am beginning to believe it. -- Will Rogers

434. The difference between death and taxes is, death doesn't get worse every time congress meets.

435. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.

436. One of the hardest things to do is get down off your high horse ........ gracefully.

437. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

438. You can't tell which way the train went, by looking at the tracks

439. There is absolutely no substitute for geniune lack of preparation.

440. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

441. Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.

442. I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.

443. This is probably as bad as it gets, but don't count on it.

444. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

445. Man is a creature of hope and invention, both of which belie the idea that things cannot be changed.

446. Often the best way to win is to forget to keep score.

447. Marriage is somewhat like undertaking a Lego project without instructions.

448. Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.

449. There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.

450. Anyone with a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else.

451. He who can't endure the bad will not live to see the good.

452. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. -- Theodore Hesburgh

453. The elegance of honesty needs no adornment.

454. The weaker the argument, the stronger the words.

455. Patience is a minor form of despair posing as a virtue.

456. Congratulations is the civility of envy.

457. When you come to a fork in the road ... take it. -- Yogi Berra

458. Yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift; that's why they call it the present.

459. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. -- Mark Twain

460. You cannot solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that has created the problem.

461. One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over mole hills.

462. Some dreams seem impossible; then they become improbable; and with courage and hope they become inevitable. -- Christopher Reeves 1996 Democratic Convention

463. There is time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to see, yet small enough to solve. -- Mike Leavitt

464. Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious. -- B.C. Forbes

465. I have a theory that the only original things we do are mistakes. -- Billy Joel

466. Often we have no time for our friends but all the time in the world for our enemies. -- Leon Uris, Redemption

467. We always hear about the haves and have-nots. Why don't we hear about the doers and the do-nots? -- Thomas Sewell, Creators Syndicate

468. In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life. It goes on. -- Robert Frost

469. Sometimes the news is in the noise; and sometimes the news is in the silence. -- Thomas Friedman, New York Times.

470. He who lives without discipline, dies without honor. -- Icelandic proverb.

471. In the end, the poem is not a thing we see; it is, rather, a light by which we may see - and what we see is life. -- Warren Buffett

472. Man is the only kind of varmit who sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it. -- John Steinbeck, Sweet Thursday

473. Paper work is the embalming fluid of bureaucracy, maintaining an appearance of life, where none exists. -- Robert J. Meltzer

474. Justice may be blind, but she has very sophisticated listening devices. -- Edgar Argo in Funny Times

475. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. -- Dalai Lama

476. Nations like to drive their rulers out, but they object when strangers do it for them. -- Jeannine Baticle, Goya, Painter of Terrible Splendor.

477. Let freedom ring. The sun never sets on so glorious a human achievement -- Nelson Mandela

478. It's more fun to arrive at a conclusion than to justify it. -- Malcolm S. Forbes

479. An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same might be true. -- Doug Larson, United Feature Syndicate

480. A friend is a lot of things, but a critic he isn't. -- Bern Williams

481. Blessed are they who have nothing to say and who cannot be persuaded to say it. -- James Russell Lowell

482. You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus. -- Mark Twain

483. To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle. -- George Orwell.

484. Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise it would be called sure-thing-taking. -- Tim McMahon

485. Success is how high you bounce when you hit the bottom. -- Gen. George Patton

486. Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. -- Tom Wilson, United Press Syndicate

487. History is a better guide than good intentions. -- Jeane Kirkpatrick

488. The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour. -- Japanese proverb

489. Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. -- George Bernard Shaw

490. You cannot get ahead while you are getting even. -- Rep. Dick Armey

491. Problems loom large when men don't. -- Robert James Bidinotto

492. There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. -- Mark Twain

493. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. -- Bill Vaughn, Kansas City Star

494. Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it. -- Soren Kierkegaard

495. Humor plays close to the big, hot fire which is Truth. -- E. B. White, Essays of E.B. White.

496. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. -- Plato

497. Oh, for the pin that would puncture pretension! -- Isaac Asimov, Thiotimoline to the Stars in Buy Jupiter and Other Stories

498. To carry a grudge, is like being stung to death by one bee. -- William H. Walton

499. One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night. -- Margaret Mead

500. Remember the Golden Rule - Do onto others as you would have them do on to you.

501. The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence. -- Marianne Moore

502. It is so much easier to extol the virtues of civility than to talk civilly about the virtues we need to uphold. -- Amitai Etzioni in The Weekly Standard

503. Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up. -- Tom Stoppard, The Plays for Radio, 1964-91

504. Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away. -- Ben Hecht, Charlie

505. When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves. -- William Arthur Ward

506. Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything. -- Billy Graham

507. No matter how many communes anybody invents, the family always comes back. -- Margaret Mead

508. A great many people mistake opinions for thoughts. -- Herbert V. Prochnow

509. Freedom, after all, is simply being able to live with the consequences of your decisions. -- James X. Mullen, The Simple Act of Greatness

510. Slow down, simplify, and be kind. -- Naomi Judd

511. We may pass violets looking for roses. We may pass contentment looking for victory. -- Bern Williams

512. Words are plentiful, but deeds are precious. -- Lech Walesa

513. Vagueness and procrastination are ever a comfort to the frail in spirit. -- John Updike, In the Beauty of the Lilies

514. If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something. -- Gertrude Stein

515. There is no greater burden than great potential. -- Charles M. Schultz

516. The game of life is alot like football. You have to tackle the problems, block your fears, and score points when you get the opportunity. -- Lewis Grizzard, Don't Sit Under the Grits Tree With Anyone Else But Me.

517. Every cynic is a sentimentalist under the skin. -- Louis L'Amour, Fallon

518. The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you. -- B.B. King

519. An act of justice closes the book on a misdeed; an act of vengeance writes one of its own. -- Marilyn vos Servant in Parade

520. Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records. -- William Arthur Ward

521. Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importance. -- J. Donald Walthers, Secrets of Life

522. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. -- Roger C. Anderson in The Rotarian

523. There are two things to aim at in life: first to get what you want and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. -- Logan Pearsall Smith, All Trivia

524. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood, second. -- Beca Lewis, A Womans' ABCs of Life

525. Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you. -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Life's Little Instruction Book

526. When you find yourself convinced that the world is moving too fast, find a bank or supermarket line.

527. Information is giving out; communication is getting through.

528. The hardships of life are not sent by the unkind to crush, but to challenge.

529. If you live in the present with all its opportunities, you cannot live in the past with all its regrets and mistakes.

530. Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records. -- William Arthur Ward

531. Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importance. -- J. Donald Walthers, Secrets of Life

532. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. -- Roger C. Anderson in The Rotarian

533. There are two things to aim at in life: first to get what you want and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. -- Logan Pearsall Smith, All Trivia

534. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood, second. -- Beca Lewis Allen, A Womans' ABCs of Life

535. Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you. -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Life's Little Instruction Book

536. When you find yourself convinced that the world is moving too fast, find a bank or supermarket line.

537. Information is giving out; communication is getting through.

538. The hardships of life are not sent by the unkind to crush, but to challenge.

539. If you live in the present with all its opportunities, you cannot live in the past with all its regrets and mistakes.

540. Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records. -- William Arthur Ward

541. Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importance. -- J. Donald Walthers, Secrets of Life

542. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. -- Roger C. Anderson in The Rotarian

543. There are two things to aim at in life: first to get what you want and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. -- Logan Pearsall Smith, All Trivia

544. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood, second. -- Beca Lewis Allen, A Womans' ABCs of Life

545. Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you. -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Life's Little Instruction Book

546. When you find yourself convinced that the world is moving too fast, find a bank or supermarket line.

547. Information is giving out; communication is getting through.

548. The hardships of life are not sent by the unkind to crush, but to challenge.

549. If you live in the present with all its opportunities, you cannot live in the past with all its regrets and mistakes.

550. Dorothy's Dilemma: The heavier the package and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches.

551. Todd's Rule of Bar Code Malfunction: The bar code in the checkout line won't work on items you're embarrassed buying.

552. Rosenbaum's Rule: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

553. Parent's Law: By the time you're right, you're dead.

554. Smith's Fourth Law: A body at rest tends to watch television.

555. Bumper sticker spotted in Lockport, N.Y.: "Hang up and drive."

556. Nothing is as stressful as trying to be a different person from whom you are.

557. When you stop spending time with real friends, you lose your balance.

558. Amazingly, people think the things that happen to them, happen only to them.

559. Three things that all children must know: who's the boss, what the rules are, and who's going to enforce them

560. More often than poverty breeds crime, crime breeds poverty..

561. It's better to be 0-for-20 than 0-for-0.

562. Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of what you already have.

563. If you love something very, very much, let it go free. If it does not return it was never meant to be yours. If it does, love it forever.

564. I have noticed that nothing I have never said did me any harm. -- Calvin Coolidge

565. A laugh a day keeps the doctor away. Sense of humor can make us all happy, healthy.

566. One day at a time.

567. All things grow with love.

568. Real love stories never have endings.

569. A saint is a sinner who keeps on trying.

570. All the riches in the world cannot equal a home filled with love.

571. Never ruin an apology with an excuse. -- Kimberly Johnson

572. Tranquillity is like quicksilver. The harder you grab for it, the less likely you will grasp it. -- Bern Williams

573. This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant. -- George F. Will

574. Often the best thing about not saying anything is that it can't be repeated. -- Susan L. Weiner

575. Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. -- Liz Smith, Tribune Media Services

576. A loud voice cannot compete with a clear voice, even if it's a whisper. -- Barry Neil Kaufman Out-Smarting Your Karma

577. It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. -- Jerome K. Jerome

578. Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. -- P.J. O'Rourke

579. Murphy's Law: When things are going well, Someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.

580. Murphy's Law: If not controlled, work will flow to the competent person until he/she submerges.

581. Murphy's Law: It is impossible to build a fool proof system; because fools are so ingenious.

582. Murphy's Law: Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

583. Murphy's Law: An original idea can never emerge from committee in its original form.

584. Murphy's Law: No good deed goes unpunished.

585. Murphy's Law: Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations

586. Murphy's Law: On successive charts of the same organization the number of boxes will never decrease.

587. Murphy's Law: It is OK to be ignorant in some areas, but some people abuse the privilege.

588. Murphy's Law: Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

589. Murphy's Law: The more directives you issue to solve a problem, the worse it gets.

590. Murphy's Law: When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to keep your mind on the fact that your primary objective was to drain the swamp.

591. Murphy's Law: If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely to be very good.

592. Murphy's Law: Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.

593. Murphy's Law: Capitalism can exist in one of only two states: welfare or warfare.

594. Murphy's Law: A little humility is arrogance.

595. Murphy's Law: Any time you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.

596. Murphy's Law: No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

597. Murphy's Law: I finally got it all together...but I forgot where I put it.

598. Murphy's Law: Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.

599. Murphy's Law: For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.

600. Murphy's Law: People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

601. Murphy's Law: Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

602. Murphy's Law: The best way to lie is to tell the truth...carefully edited truth.

603. Murphy's Law: There are three ways to get things done Do it yourself Hire someone to do it or Forbid your kids to do it. -- Bob Orben

604. Murphy's Law: Those with the best advice, offer no advice

605. Murphy's Law: Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.

606. Murphy's Law: Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.

607. Murphy's Law: If you're worried about being crazy, don't be overly concerned. If you were, you would think you were sane.

608. Murphy's Law: If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.

609. Murphy's Law: Definition of an elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

610. Murphy's Law: All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

611. Murphy's Law: Anyone who follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd.

612. Murphy's Law: I no longer get lost in the shuffle...I shuffle along with the lost.

613. Murphy's Law: The early worm deserves the bird.

614. Murphy's Law: All good things must come to an end. I want to know when they start!

615. Murphy's Law: A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

616. Murphy's Law: Keep emotionally active, cater to your favorite neurosis.

617. Murphy's Law: Avoid reality at all costs.

618. Murphy's Law: A closed mouth gathers no foot.

619. Murphy's Law: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

620. Murphy's Law: In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

621. Murphy's Law: Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.

622. Murphy's Law: If you have to ask, you are not entitled to know.

623. Murphy's Law: A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality.

624. Murphy's Law: The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all of the parts.

625. Murphy's Law: If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.

626. Murphy's Law: There is a solution to every problem; the only difficulty is finding it.

627. Murphy's Law: Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.

628. Murphy's Law: You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

629. Murphy's Law: Freud's 23rd law: Ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.

630. Murphy's Law: If you want to make an enemy, do someone a favor.

631. Murphy's Law: Common sense is not so common.

632. Murphy's Law: If we learn by our mistakes, I'm getting one hell of an education!!

633. Murphy's Law: If it's good they will stop making it.

634. Murphy's Law: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

635. Murphy's Law: Never insult an alligator, until after you have crossed the river.

636. Murphy's Law: Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

637. Murphy's Law: The man who can smile when things go wrong, has thought of someone he can blame it on.

638. Murphy's Law: The usefulness of any meeting in is inverse proportion to the attendance.

639. Murphy's Law: Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line.

640. Murphy's Law: A disagreeable task it its own reward.

641. Murphy's Law: If things were left to chance, they'd be better.

642. Murphy's Law: Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.

643. Murphy's Law: A president of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing and able to lay down your life for his country.

644. Murphy's Law: If a thing is done wrong often enough it becomes right.

645. Murphy's Law: Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it anymore.

646. Murphy's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

647. Murphy's Law: When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

648. Murphy's Law: No matter what happens, there is always somebody who knew that it would.

649. Murphy's Law: The other line always goes faster.

650. Murphy's Law: In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need one.

651. Murphy's Law: When all else fails, read the instructions.

652. Murphy's Law: Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

653. Murphy's Law: Close counts in horseshoes, handgrenades and thermonuclear devices.

654. Murphy's Law: I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which , when you look at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated. -- Poul Anderson

655. Murphy's Law: No matter which direction you start, it's always against the wind coming back.

656. Murphy's Law: An optimist is a person who looks forward to marriage. A pessimist is a married optimist!

657. Murphy's Law: A pessimist is an optimist with experience.

658. Murphy's Law: Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

659. Murphy's Law: Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink, some prefer to just gargle.

660. Murphy's Law: Everything is revealed to he who turns over enough stones, (including the snakes that he did not want to find).

661. Murphy's Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give least.

662. Murphy's Law: In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence and then remains there.

663. Murphy's Law: It does not matter it you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.

664. Murphy's Law: Misery no longer loves company; nowdays it insists on it.

665. Murphy's Law: The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

666. Murphy's Law: On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy -- but we will work on it.

667. Murphy's Law: Be sure to keep your mouth shut.

668. Murphy's Law: One's life tends to be like a beaver's, one dam thing after another.

669. Murphy's Law: A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.

670. Murphy's Law: Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone.

671. Murphy's Law: To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.

672. Murphy's Law: An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.

673. Murphy's Law: Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

674. Murphy's Law: People can be divided into three groups: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.

675. Murphy's Law: In any household, junk accumulates to the space available for its storage.

676. Murphy's Law: Don't stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding.

677. Murphy's Law: The longer the title the less important the job.

678. Murphy's Law: There are no winners in life: only survivors.

679. Murphy's Law: You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it.

680. Murphy's Law: The idea is to die young as late as possible.

681. Murphy's Law: It's better to retire too soon than too late.

682. Murphy's Law: A man should be greater than some of his parts.

683. Murphy's Law: Persons disagreeing with your facts are always emotional, and employ faulty reasoning.

684. Murphy's Law: A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.

685. Murphy's Law: If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

686. Murphy's Law: Don't look back, something may be gaining on you.

687. Murphy's Law: All things being equal, all things are never equal.

688. Murphy's Law: Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

689. Murphy's Law: Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

690. Murphy's Law: If you're coasting, you're going downhill.

691. Murphy's Law: Indifference is the only sure defense.

692. Murphy's Law: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

693. Murphy's Law: Never needlessly disturb a thing at rest.

694. Murphy's Law: If you want to get along, go along.

695. Murphy's Law: If you plan to leave your mark in the sands of time, you better wear work shoes.

696. Murphy's Law: It's always easier to go down hill, but the view is from the top.

697. Murphy's Law: Any line, however short, is still too long.

698. Murphy's Law: Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

699. Murphy's Law: Any story can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

700. Murphy's Law: Old Scottish prayer: O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for thou knowest we will never change our minds.

701. Murphy's Law: Never be the first to do anything.

702. Murphy's Law: The chief cause of problems is solutions.

703. Murphy's Law: The only winner of the war of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

704. Murphy's Law: Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

705. Murphy's Law: For every credibility gap there is a gullibility gap..

706. Murphy's Law: Cant produces countercant.

707. Murphy's Law: If you can't convince then, confuse them.

708. Murphy's Law: Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.

709. Murphy's Law: All general statements are false. (Think about it.)

710. Murphy's Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

711. Murphy's Law: People will believe anything if you whisper it.

712. Murphy's Law: A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

713. Murphy's Law: Never leave hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.

714. Murphy's Law: Nobody notices when things go right.

715. Murphy's Law: Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.

716. Murphy's Law: Work may be the crabgrass of life, but money is still the water that keeps it green.

717. Murphy's Law: Leakproof seals --- will.

718 There is no cure for birth or death save to enjoy the interval. -- George Santanyana

719 Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time, and the last 10% takes the other 90%. -- Unknown

720. Flying is hours, and hours, and hours and hours and hours and hours, of sheer boredom interrupted by a few moments of stark terror. -- Sgt. Merrill Menlove [after our single engine Beechcraft Bonanza iced up and we landed (safely!) in Terra Haute, Indiana - March, 1963]

721. Family and friends are hidden treasurers; seek them out and enjoy their riches.

722. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

723. Those who give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. -- Benjamin Franklin

724. Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. -- George Eliot

725. A marriage is made in heaven, but ... so are thunder and lightning. -- Joseph Alessi

726. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. -- Matthew 6:21

727. Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. -- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

728. Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. -- Clarence Thomas

729. Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their strength. -- Chuck Norris

730. Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don't. -- Brett Butler, Knee Deep in Paradise

731. Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love. -- Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

732. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public-relations writers. -- Daniel J. Boorstin

733. There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom (Little, Brown)

734. Statesman rise and fall on the smallest of actions. -- Marl Helprin in Wall Street Journal

735. It is better to ask some questions than to know all the answers. -- James Thurber

736. Values are not trendy items that are casually traded in. -- Ellen Goodman

737. There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by. -- Annie Dillard, The Writing Life (Harper, Collins)

738. Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all. -- Sam Ewing

739. Ultimately, the only power to which a man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself. -- Elie Wiesel, Memoirs: All Rivers Run to the Sea

740. Be sure your brain is in gear, before your mouth is in motion. -- Leland Bassett Reader's Digest

741. It is always a good idea to knock before entering another person's psyche. -- Margo Vago, Reader's Digest

742. You give little when you give of your possesions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Giving, The Prophet

743. Work is love made visible. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Work, The Prophet

744. Your joy is sorrow unmasked. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Sorrow, The Prophet

745. No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Teaching, The Prophet

746. Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Giving, The Prophet 747. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Friendship, The Prophet

748. You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Talking, The Prophet

749. ... yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Time, The Prophet

750. You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance. -- Kahlil Gibran, Of Prayer, The Prophet

751. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. -- Matthew 6:21

752. The Golden Rule: Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

753. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. -- John 3:16

754. I beseech you therefore brethern, to walk worthy of the vocation wherewith you are called. -- Ephesians 4:1

755. There hath no temptation taken you, but such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able, but will with that temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. -- I Corinthians 10:13

756. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. -- Romans 8:28

757. I am the way, the truth and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. -- St. John 14:6

758. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven. -- Matthew 19:24

759. A sound heart is the life of the flesh; but envy, the rottenness of the bones. -- Proverbs 14:30

760. Before the destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is humility. -- Proverbs 18:12

761. A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches. -- Proverbs 22:1

762. Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. -- Proverbs 22:6

763. If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink. -- Proverbs 25:21

764. Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies? -- Proverbs 31:10

765. Good fences make good neighbors. -- Robert Frost, Mending Walls

766. He who pays the fiddler, calls the tune.

767. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

768. Speak softly and carry a big stick. -- Teddy Roosevelt

769. There is pain in changing and pain in staying the same. Choose the one that moves you ahead.

770. It's time to STOP strategic planning and START strategic doing!

771. Life's best outlook is a prayerful uplook.

772. Virtue is it's own reward.

773. Women are the ONLY test you cannot study for. -- DE

774. Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.

775. Undetectable system errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors which, by definition, are limited. 776. Murphy's Law: If there are several things that can go wrong at once, the thing that will do the most damage, will.

777. Nolan's Placebo: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

778. The solution to a problem changes the problem.

779. Weinberg's Corollary: An expert is one who avoids the small errors which sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

780. Wood's Axiom: As soon as a still-to-be-finished task becomes life-or-death, the power fails.

781. When justice and mercy are wed, grace is the child. -- Rev. Donald R. Perkey September 22, 1996

782. Music is said to be the speech of the angels.

783. An excess of virtue is vice.

784. Natives who beat drums to ward off evil spirits are scoffed at by motorists who blow their horns to break up traffic jams.

785. If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.

786. Art is the signature of civilization. -- Beverly Sills

787. Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. -- Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin (Harcourt Brace) 788. Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite direcions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them -- Sydney Smith

789. A sense of shame is not a bad moral compass. -- Colin Powell, My American Journey (Random House)

790. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

791. Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. -- Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family (Zondervan)

792. Time is slippery. -- Kim Linder

793. Wherever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision. --Peter Drucker 794. He who is afraid to ask is ashamed of learning. -- Danish proverb 795. You can measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him. -- Robert C. Savage, Life Lessons (Tyndale House)

796. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

797. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

798. People in glass houses should not throw stones.

799. The early bird gets the worm.

800. All that glitters is not gold.

801. Haste makes waste.

802. A lazy tailor uses a long thread.

803. An ill wind blows no good.

804. Look before you leap.

805. To err is human; to forgive is divine.

806. A friend ... someone you can share your inner feelings with ... knowing you won't be judged of rejected. -- Datus

807. A friend ... someone who gives freely ... without expectation or motivation -- Datus

808. A friend ... someone who lets you be who you are ... if you want to change it's up to you -- Datus

809. A friend ... someone who is there when you're hurting ... offering true tenderness. -- Datus

810. A friend ... someone who sees your beauty ... your true beauty. -- Datus

811. A friend ... someone who gives you space when it's needed ... without hesitation -- Datus

812. A friend ... someone who listens ... to what you are really saying. -- Datus

813. A friend ... someone who will consider your different beliefs ... without judgment -- Datus

814. A friend ... someone you will always feel close to ... even when they are far away. -- Datus

815. A friend ... someone who is comfortable to be with ... anytime, anywhere, doing anything. -- Datus

816. A friend is a special gift ... to be cherished forever. -- Datus 817. The world is full of cactus, but we don't have to sit on it.

818. Never let anything mechanical know when you're in a hurry.

819. You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. -- Norman Douglas

820. Beauty is but skin deep. -- English proverb

821. An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support. -- Fulton Sheen

822. Beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder. -- Margaret Hungerford

823. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. -- John Keats

824. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. -- Ecclesiastes 3:1

825. Judge not, that ye be not judged. -- Matthew 7:15

826. A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country. -- Matthew 13:57

827. If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. --Matthew 15:14

828. If a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. -- Mark 3:25

829. For what profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul. -- Mark 8:34

830. Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind. -- Marcel Proust

831. Beneath the rule of men entirely great, The pen is mightier than that sword. -- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

832. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. -- Sir Richard Steele

833. In science, read by preference the newest works; in literature, the oldest. The classics are always modern. -- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

834. The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. -- Josh Billings

835. The only tyrant I accept in this world is the 'still small voice in me. -- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

836. A man can be destroyed, but not defeated. -- Ernest Hemingway

837. If you can keep your head when those around you are losing theirs -- you probably haven't understood the situation.

838. A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. -- Oscar Wilde

839. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. -- Howell Forgy, December 7, 1941, Pearl Harbor

840. A young man who does not have what it takes to perform military service is not likely to have what it takes to make a living. -- John F. Kennedy

841. Let him who desires peace, prepare for war. -- Vegetius (4th century)

842. Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they have told you what you think it is you want to hear. -- Alan Coren

843. Democracy is based upon the conviction that there are extraordinary possibilities in ordinary people. -- Harry Emerson Fosdick

844. A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. -- Kenneth Tynan

845. The first panacea of a mismanaged nation is inflation of the currency. -- Ernest Hemmingway

846. It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose your own. -- Harry S. Truman

847. Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous. -- Confucius

848. If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you educate a family. -- Ruby Manikan

849. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

850. No man is justified in doing evil on the ground of expediency. -- Theodore Roosevelt

851. There is no school equal to a decent home and no teachers equal to honest virtuous parents. -- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

852. Victimization is today's 'out' from accepting responsibility. -- Laura Schlessinger (How Could You Do That)

853. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate. -- John F. Kennedy

854. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

855. Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. -- Marlene Dietrich

856. The stupid neither forgive or forget. The naive forgive and forget. The wise forgive but do not forget. -- Thomas Szasz

857. Man is condemned to be free. -- Jean-Paul Sartre

858. I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. -- Voltaire

859. Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. -- Thomas Edison

860. It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never inflicts pain. -- Cardinal John Newman

861. Though the people support the government, the government should not support the people. -- Grover Cleveland

862. An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger. -- Confucius

863. A man may build a throne of bayonets, but he cannot sit on it. -- W.R. Inge

864. Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. -- John Acton

865. Little minds are interested in the extraordinary; great minds in the comonplace. -- Elbert Hubbard

866. It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him. -- John Steinbeck

867. The conventional army loses if it does not win. The guerilla wins if he does not lose. -- Henry Kissinger

868. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. -- Mark Twain

869. Happiness comes uninvited; and the moment you are conscious that you are happy, you are no longer happy. -- Krishnamurti

870. We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it. -- George Bernard Shaw

871. Hating is like burning down your house to get rid of a rat. -- Harry Fosdick

872. Many a man who would not dream of putting too much pressure in his automobile tires lays a constant overstrain on his heart and arteries. -- Bruce Barton

873. Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don't need it; if you are sick, you shouldn't take it. -- Henry Ford

874. It is health which is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. -- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

875. Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar but the best improve with age. -- Pope John XXIII

876. He is strong who conquers others; he who conquers himself is mighty. -- Lao-Tsze

877. Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem. -- John Galsworthy

878. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. -- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

879. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to so with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. -- Susan Ertz

880. We die when we fail to take root in others. -- Leon Trotsky

881. The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. -- Abraham Lincoln

882. Liberty is the one thing you can't have unless you give it to others. -- William White

883. The great use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it. -- William James

884. It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. -- Samuel Johnson

885. Our very business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves. -- Thomas Monson

886. The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. -- Theodore Roosevelt

887. Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice; journalism is what will be grasped at once. -- Cyril Connolly

888. Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. -- Jean Anouilh

889. Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed, or teased. It comes out of Heaven, unmasked, unsought. -- Pearl Buck

890. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. -- Tennyson In Memoriam

891. Love is never having to say you're sorry. -- Erich Segal

892. Lover's quarrels are the renewal of love. -- Terence

893. Nothing is more reasonable and cheap than good manners.

894. Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals. -- Horace Mann

895. Marriage is an institution the appreciation of which increases as one grows older. -- Sir Thomas Beecham

897. Marriage with a good woman is a harbour in the tempest of life; with a bad woman, it is a tempest in the harbour. -- John Petit-Senn

898. God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him if he finds her. -- Benjamin Tillett

899. Money is a good servant, but a poor master. -- Dominique Bouhours

900. With virtues and quietness one may conquer the world. -- Lao-Tsze

901. Horse power was wonderful when only horses had it.

902. The history of a country is written in its popular songs. -- Sigmund Spaeth

903. Newspapers are the world's mirrors. -- James Ellis

904. The Atomic Age is here to stay -- but are we? -- Bennett Cerf

905. Old age takes away from us what we have inherited and gives us what we have earned. -- Gerald Brenan

906. Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. -- Anthony Powell

907. If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; you get accused of things you never did and praised for virtues you never had. -- I.F. Stone

908. Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember a kite rises against, not with, the wind. -- Hamilton Mabie

909. The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. -- L.P. Hartley

910. Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country. -- Bertrand Russell

911. A poem is what happens when an anxiety meets a technique. -- Lawrence Durrell

912. Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others do.

913. Waiting to ask for statistical advice until after the end of your data collection is like asking a coroner for your medical diagnosis.

914. Unlimited power is apt to corrupt the minds of those who possess it. -- William Pitt

915. One fifth of the people are against everything all the time. -- Robert Kennedy

916. You can fool some of the people all the time and all of the people some of the time; but you cannot fool all the people all the time. -- Abraham Lincoln

917. Riches are no test of goodness. Indeed poverty is the only test. A good man voluntarily embraces poverty. -- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

918. What we call progress is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance. -- Henry H. Ellis

919. Religion is a way of walking, not a way of talking. -- W.R. Inge

920. There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. -- George Bernard Shaw

921. Revenge never repairs an injury. - English proverb

922. Art is meant to disturb. Science reassures. -- George Braque

923. Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. -- Albert Einstein

924. Brevity is the soul of wit. -- Polonius - Hamlet 2,2,90

925. Spoon-feeding in the long run teaches us nothing, but the shape of the spoon. -- E.M. Forster

926. In all things, success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure. -- Confucius

927. The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary. -- Vidal Sassoon

928. A truth told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent. -- William Blake

929. If you can actually count your money, then you are not really a rich man. -- Paul Getty

930. Armaments, universal debt and planned obsolescence -- those are the three pillars of Western prosperity. -- Aldous Huxley

931. The wise man does not lay up treasure. The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own. -- Lao-Tsze

932. I must have lived previous lives. I can't imagine getting this far behind in one life!

933. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone. For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth But trouble has enough of its own. -- Ella Wheeler Wilcox 1883

934. My father always told me never to love anything that cannot love you back. -- Imelda Marcos

935. People go on vacation to forget things, and when they open their suitcases they realize they did.

936. A minor operation is one performed on someone else.

937. Of course there's such a thing as luck. How else could you explain your enemies' successes?

938. The hurrier I go the behinder I get.

939. I usually say, "The computer is the dumbest thing on this campus. It does exactly what you tell it; not necessarily what you want. Logic is up to you." -- Necia A. Black, in (The Little SAS Book)

940. Children are our future. The better we make the world for them, the better we make the world for us.

941. Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -- Dana Scully The X-Files

942. He who takes no interest in the history of his ancestors, does not deserve to be remembered by his posterity. -- Ronald Cox

943. Childhood is that wonderful time of your life when all you have to do to lose weight is take a bath.

944. People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered, love them anyway.

945. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives, do good anyway.

946. If you are successful you win false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway.

947. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable; be honest and frank anyway.

948. What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight; build anyway.

949. People really need help but may attack you if you help them; help people anyway.

950. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth; give the world the best you have anyway.

951. It takes a fine woman to bring up a good man.

952. We must never carve our initials in our children.

953. Nobody is too old to learn - but a lot of people keep putting it off. -- William O'Neill

954. Practice is the best of all instructors. -- Publilius Syrus, c. 24 B.C.

955. "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't." Lewis Carroll Alice Through the Looking Glass

956. Think about it -- How can there be self-help "groups"?

957. Think about it -- If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide-and-seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

958. Think about it -- Is there another word for synonym?

959. Think about it -- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

960. Think about it -- Why do they report power outages on TV?

961. Think about it -- Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

962. Think about it -- Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

963. I'm just moving clouds today -- tomorrow I'll try mountains.

964. It makes all the difference whether one sees darkness through the light or brightness through the shadows.

965. You only live once, but if you live right, once is enough.

966. Fly and you catch the wind, fly and you'll reach your goal.

967. Hang on to a true friend with both hands.

968. The more I study, the more I know. The more I know, the more I forget. The more I forget, the less I know. So why study?

969. Love is not measured by how many times you touch each other, but by how many times you reach each other.

970. Resisting temptation is usually a matter of putting it off until no one is looking.

971. Pray for power equal to the task.

972. Storms pass. Love remains behind.

973. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing.

974. Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

975. I can because I have to.

976. Anyone can make a mistake. A fool insists on repeating it. -- Robertine Maynard, quoted by Bob Maynard, Universal Press Syndicate 977. The fear of death keeps us from living, not from dying. -- Paul C. Roud,Making Miracles (Warner Books) 978. When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself a public property. -- Thomas Jefferson 979. Believe one who has tried it. -- Virgil 980. Truth hurts - not the searching after; the running from! -- John Eyberg 981. The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators. -- Edward Gibbon 982. Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. -- James Stephen 983. Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. -- African Proverb 984. Wisdom ofttimes consists of knowing what to do next. -- Herbert Hood 985. Nothing is really lost. It's just where it doesn't belong. -- Suzanne Muc? 986. The man who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as much as the honesty. Possibly more. -- Richard J. Needham in Toronto, The Globe and Mail 987. Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear. -- S.S. Milne, Not That It Matters (Dutton) 988. Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. -- Doug Larson, United Feature Syndicate 989. Words of comfort, skillfully administered, are the oldest therapy known to man. -- Louis Nizer 990. Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles. -- Arnold H. Glascow, in Graham, Texas, Rotary, Scandel Sheet 991. Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't always have to be their top priority. -- William Arthur Ward 992. It's when you run away that you're most liable to stumble. -- Casey Robinson, The Snows of Kilimanjaro (Twentieth Century Fox) 993. A grownup is a child with layers on. -- Woody Harrelson, quoted by Philip Wuntch in the Dallas Morning News 994. No one beneath you can offend you. No one your equal would. -- Jan L. Wells 995. The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home. -- Confucius 996. Give every man thy ear but few thy voice. -- William Shakespeare 997. Wit is educated insolence. -- Aristole 998. Every child comes with a message that God is not yet discouraged of man. -- Rabindranath Tagore 999. You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. -- Ray Bradbury Quoted by Misha Berson in Seattle Times 1000. Flattery is counterfeit money which, but for vanity, would have no circulation. -- La Rochefoucauld 1001. The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence. -- Denis Waitley 1002. Simple minds are amuzed simply. 1003. A half truth is a whole lie. -- Yiddish Proverb 1004. When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing. -- Enrique Jardiel Poncela 1005. Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. -- William Dean Howell 1006. An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything. -- Lynn Johnson, Universal Press Syndicate 1007. When the mouth stumbles, it is worse then the foot. -- West African Proverb 1008. There are no limits on our future if we don't put limits on our people. -- Jack Kemp 1009. Great successes are built on taking your negatives and turning them around. -- Sumner Redstone in Forbes 1010. Romance is about the little things. -- Gregory J. Godeck, 1001 Ways to Be Romantic (Casablanca Press) 1011. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. 1012. We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. -- Stacia Tauscher 1013. There is a close correlation between getting up in the morning and getting up in the world. -- Ron Dentinger in Dodgeville, WI Chronicle 1014. Heredity is what sets the parents of a teen-ager wondering about each other. -- Laurence J. Peter, Peter's Quotations (Morrow) 1015. Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching? 1016. Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to to know they were impossible. -- Doug Larson, United Feature Syndicate 1017. Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get. -- H. Jackson Brown. A Father's Book of Wisdom (Rutledge Hill) 1018. Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. Then your time on earth and it will be filled with glory. -- Betty Smith. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Harper Collins) 1019. Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. -- Marilyn von Savant. 1020. To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. -- David Viscott, M.D., How to Live With Another Person 1021. Children have more need of models than of critics. -- Carolyn Coates Things your Dad Always Told You But You Didn't Want to Hear (Nelsom) 1022. When one finds himself in a hole of his own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of workmanship. -- Jon Remmerde in The Christian Science Monitor 1023. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -- Herm Albrith 1024. The day a person becomes a cynic is the day he loses his youth. -- Marvin D. Levy 1025. The future has a way of arriving unannounced. -- George D. Levy 1026. Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth, but not it's twin. -- Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams (Harper Collins) 1027. It is better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong than to agonize at length and be right far too late. -- Marilyn M. Kennedy in Across the Board 1028. In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter. -- Chinese Proverb 1029. The best things in life aren't things. -- Art Buchwald 1030. The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible - and achieve it, generation after generation. -- Pearl S. Buck 1031. It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action. -- Al Bart 1032. Success is more a function of consistent common sense than it is of genius. -- An Wong, Lessons: An Autobiography (Addison - Wesley) 1033. When you teach your son, you teach your son's son. -- The Talmud 1034. Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone, and more fragile than a rose. -- Turkish Proverb 1035. Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. -- Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer 1036. You don't need to take a person's advice to make him feel good - just ask for it. -- Laurence J. Peter Peter's Almanac (Morrow) 1037. The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers. -- Deepak Chopra, M.D. Ageless Body, Timeless Mind (Harmony) 1038. Among my most prised possessions are words that I have never spoken. -- Orson Rega Card 1039. The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other. -- Jan Blaustone, The Joy of Parenthood (Meadowbrook) 1040. In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins - not through strength but by perservance. -- H. Jackson Brown, A Father's Book of Wisdom (Rutledge Hill) 1041. Don't view life through woe colored glasses. 1042. Failure follows the man whose wishbone is where his backbone should be. 1043. Be careful in stretching the truth, it may snap back! 1044. Living in a glass house is a real pane. 1045. The young know all, the middle-age mistrust all, and the old believe all. 1046. Frowns, not smiles, cause wrinkles. 1047. Spending your life trying to get even is foolish; It traps you in the past and robs you of your future. -- Ray H. Saigo Chronicle of Higher Education 1048. It is better to face a danger once than be always in fear. 1049. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. -- Philippians 2:4 1050. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein 1051. Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are. -- Houssaye 1052. Do something nice for someone ... and try not to get caught. -- Rev. Tom Stewart 1053. Secrets to happiness: Live beneath your means and within your seams. Return everything you borrow. Donate blood. Stop blaming other people. Admit it when you make a mistake. Give all the clothes you haven't worn in the last 3 years to charity. Listen more/talk less. Be on time. Don't argue. Don't make excuses. Get organized. Be humble. Each day take a 30 minute walk in your neighborhood. Be kind to kind people. Be even kinder to unkind people. Skip two meals a week and give the money to charity. Strive for excellence not perfection. Let someone cut ahead of you in line. Take time to be alone. Reread a favorite book. Cultivate good manners. Understand and accept that life is not fair. Know when to say something. Know when to keep your mouth shut. Don't criticize anyone for 24 hours. Learn from the past, plan for the future, and live in the present. Don't sweat the small stuff. -- Rev. Tom Stewart 1054. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room. 1055. One man's way may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best. -- Jane Austen 1056. Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend. -- Agatha Christie 1057. That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet. -- Emily Dickinson 1058. Denial ain't just a river in Eqypt. -- Mark Twain 1059. If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time. -- Edith Wharton 1060. Hear no evil - speak no evil - and you'll never be invited to a party. -- Oscar Wilde 1061. Everything goes by the board...honor, pride, decency...to get the book written. -- William Faulkner 1062. I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. -- Edgar Allen Poe 1063. Everybody gets too much information all day long that they lose their common sense. -- Gertrude Stein 1064. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. -- H.G. Wells 1065. Mr. President, [Bill Clinton] when you are wrong that is a mistake; when you know you're wrong and say it anyway, that's a lie. Remember? March, 2000 -- Charleton Heston 1066. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -- Aristotle 1067. Definition of a promise: A destination determined by me, which I know I have the power to achieve. 1068. Successful people are not necessarily the most intelligent, talented, or luckiest. They are the most persistent. 1069. You cannot succeed by yourself. It's hard to find a rich hermit. -- Jom Rohn 1070. You are today where your thoughts brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. -- James Allen 1071. Light is the task where many share the toil. -- Homer 1072. You are what you think about all day long. -- Dr. Robert Schuler 1073. If you can't identify passoniate reasons for your promise - don't make it. 1074. When you continue to strive toward your goal you are successful; only when you quit have you failed. 1075. When we make a promise only to please someone else, committment dies. We quit early. 1076. Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. -- Helen Keller 1077. Mrs. Clinton, I would think that you, of all people, would not assess a person guilty, by association. -- Rick Lazio in debate with Mrs. Clinton for NY Senate seat. 1078. Never, never, ever confuse being intelligent with being right. -- Edgar Z. Friedenberg 1079. Life is a winding staircase, best taken one step at a time. -- Salada tea saying 1080. If the problem isn't hunger, the solution is not food. 1081. He who goes a borrowing, goes a sorrowing. -- Benjamin Franklin 1082. Money lent to a friend may have to be recovered from an enemy. -- Salada tea saying 1083. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. -- Attributed to Edmund Burke [1729-1797] 1084. You have to stay awake to make your dreams come true. -- Salada tea saying 1085. If your heart is bitter, eating sugar won't help. 1086. Truth is generally the best vindication against slander. -- Abraham Lincoln 1087. As for a future life, every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague probabilities. -- Charles Robert Darwin From Life and Letters 1088. Mohammed's truth lay in a holy book, Christ's in a sacred life. -- Mohammedanism 1089. I am a part of all I have met. -- Tennyson, Ulysses 1090. Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. -- Tennyson Locksley Hall 1091. The shell must break before the bird can fly. -- The ancient Sage 1092. Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes 1093. Knowledge and timber shouldn't be much used till they are seasoned. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes 1094. Truth stood on one side and Ease on the other; it has often been so. -- Theodore Parker 1095. A babe in the house is a well spring of pleasure. -- Martin Farquhar Tupper - Of Discretion 1096. Well timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. -- Martin Farguhar Tupper - Of Discretion 1097. One on God's side is a majority. -- Wendell Phillips 1098. Force is no remedy. -- John Bright, On Irish Troubles 1099. God is his heaven. All's right with the world. -- Robert Browning, Pippa Passes 1100. Come in the evening, or come in the morning, Come when you're looked for, or come without warning. -- Thomas Osborne Davis, The Welcome 1101. Nobody is too old to learn -- but a lot of people keep putting it off. -- William O'Neill 1102. Be yourself - no one else can do it as well. 1103. If you are kind to yourself when you are young, maybe your body will be kind to you when you are old. -- Necia Black 1104. The goal of science is build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice -- from Scott D. Miller SAS-L, May 10, 2001 1105. If you cry because you can't see the sun, your tears won't let you see the stars. -- Manolo (in Peru) 1106. There is no gift like the present. -- Salada tea bag 1107. Practice is the best of all instructors. -- Publius Syrus, c. 42 B.C. 1108. Things we can learn from a dog: Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride. Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ectasy. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. When it is in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others know when they have invaded your territory. Take naps, and stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you are not. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close and nuzzle them gently. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On an hot day, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body. No matter how often you are scolded, don't buy into the guilt, run right back and make friends. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. ------- 1109 through 1138 from Sharon Baker - Fred Pryor Seminar on Stress Management for Women 1109. Some of us would rather stay with the devil we know, then be proactive and make a risky change. 1110. Do you suffer from the disease to please? 1111. If I am not looking for ways to be better, then I am looking for ways to be bitter. 1112. What your mind believes, your body achieves. 1113. Perfectionism is a symptom of low self-esteem. 1114. Many are motivated by pain to make a change. 1115. With good self-esteem, we walk through our fears. 1116. Getting skilled at what you are not good at doing is how to handle stress. 1117. God is watching; give her a good show. 1118. People treat me the way I teach them to. 1119. It's in repetition we learn. 1120. I can't I Certainly Am Not Trying 1121. "If only you would change, I would feel better." 1122. If you keep doing what you've always been doing, you'll keep getting what you have always got. 1123. You've been complaining of that for the past two weeks, what's your plan? 1124. What they allowed, they taught me to do. 1125. You have to put effort into anything you do. 1126. Information without application is just more information. 1127. Put the oxygen on yourself first. 1128. Every woman should know how to fall in love, without losing herself. 1129. Your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over. 1130. The average successful person reads, on average, one book a month. 1131. You are the CEO of your life. Where's your mission statement? 1132. What you set your mind up to believe, you will achieve. 1133. Qtip = Quit Taking It Personal 1134. Stress is good - it becomes bad when we turn hostile. 1135. A pessimist is a person, when given two alternatives, chooses both. 1136. Gossip is a symptom of a woman with very low self-esteem. 1137. We were able to take care of ourselves all along, we just weren't allowed to. 1138. If one "No" costs me a relationship with you, we didn't have much of a relationship ---- 1139. Opportunity no longer knocks. These days, it darts past the door before you can even react. -- SAS.com home page 1140. Initiative is power. 1141. Assertive - clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings, while respecting others. 1142. Do not assume a "small" change has a small impact. 1143. Poor planning virtually assumes failure. 1144. "Cool. Do you want him back alive?" (Reponse to "We're going to put a man on the moon by the end of the decade." Could be a response to any seemingly immpossible task.) 1145. Humiliation is not complete without an audience. 1146. Spend some time in baby monster control. 1147. The devil is in the details. 1148. Fix the problem not the blame. 1149. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. 1150. Don't go to a knife fight without a knife. 1151. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. 1152. Luck - when preparation meets opportunity. 1153. Awesome prayer - Bob McKnight sent on: May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. "I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." 1154. Men only go bad once they get rich, while women only get rich once they go bad. -- old Chinese proverb 1155. A mind once stretched by new thoughts can never regain its original shape. -- Albert Einstein 1156. We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. -- George Bernard Shaw 1157. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. -- Louis Brandeis 1158. There are two kinds of light -- the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures. -- James Thurber 1159. Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. -- Paula Poundstone 1160. Television is a medium because it is neither rare nor well done. -- Ernie Kovacs 1161. Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope -- Josh Billings 1162. Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. -- Buddha 1163. When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone. -- Winston Churchill 1164. We make a living by what we get. We make life by what we give. -- Winston Churchill 1165. I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work the more of it I seem to have. -- Coleman Cox 1166. Dogs have a master; cats have a staff. -- Unknown 1167. What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson 1168. No man is free who is not the master of himself. -- Epictetus 1169. You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself. -- Harvey Firestone 1170. You cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do. -- Henry Ford 1171. Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one. -- Benjamin Franklin 1172. Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few. -- Benjamin Franklin 1173. You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it himself. -- Galileo Galilei 1174. I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect. -- Edward Gibbon 1175. The optimist see the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose. -- Kahlil Gibran 1176. Nothing is as terrible to see as ignorance in action. -- Goethe 1177. Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must ... undergo the fatique of supporting it. -- Thomas Paine

1178. True power is knowing that you can, but you don't. -- Juliet Alicia Jarvis

1179. The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate. -- Doug Engelbert

1180. Good history is a question of survival. Without any past, we will deprive ourselves of the defining impression of our being. -- Ken Burns, The Civil War:Historians Respond.

1181. Human instincts are hard-wired programming. -- William Rotsler

1182. We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist or two. -- Joseph Heller

1183. To our fans, winning isn't everything, but it ranks right up there with oxygen. -- Lou Holtz, Notre Dame

1184. Ballweg's Discovery; wherever there is a flat surface, someone will find something to put on it.

1185. Rabbe's Rule of the Bedroom: The spouse who snores louder always falls asleep first.

1186. Dickson's Gardening Discovery: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

1187. A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are the portals of discovery. -- James Joyce

1188. The law should be a shield, not a sword. -- Howard Schumacher

1189. A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

1190. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

1191. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. -- David Icke

1192. "When children are toughest to love, that's when they need love the most." -- friend of Gwen Ito

1193. I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information. -- Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes

1194. In music the passions enjoy themselves. -- Nietzsche

1195 One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making new discoveries." -- A.A. Milne

1196. He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder." -- M.C. Escher 1197. History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. -- Abba Eban 1198. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not something to be worked for, but rather something to be achieved. -- William Jennings Bryant 1199. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. -- John F. Kennedy 1200. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." -- Martin Luther King Jr. 1201. You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." -- Mark Twain 1202. Once you cut people open, you find out that they're all pretty much the same inside." -- city mortician 1203. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller 1204. Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive." 1205. Life is real, life is earnest, though the grave is not its goal. Dust thou art and dust returnest was not spoken of the soul." -- Ernest Hemingway 1206. I used to be snow white, but I drifted. -- Mae West 1207. War is not about who's right. It's about who's left. 1208. Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you. 1209. In the womb we are all blind cavefish. -- Jim Morrison 1210. Find your voice--and use it. -- From "Pump up the Volume" 1211. Conformity is the uncomfortable feeling of wearing somebody else's clothes, even when they don't fit. 1212. The thing to remember is that artists are magical beings. They're the only people other than the gods who can grant immortality. -- Matt Ruff 1213. I often have an intense desire to scream, yet it seems everyone here speaks in a whisper. -- Elizabeth Blackwell 1214. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. -- Douglas Adams 1215. Art is running away without ever leaving home. --Twyla Tharp 1216. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. -- William James 1217. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. -- Charlie McCarthy 1218. Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but materialists have always known it depends on whether they are jitterbugging or dancing cheek to cheek. -- Tom Robbins 1219. It is never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise. -- Nancy Thayer 1220. It is better to die on your feet than to live on you knees." -- Dolores Ibarruri 1221. The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions. -- Susan Sontag 1222. I always thought that if I were popular I must be doing something worng. -- Suzanne Vega 1223. Unfortunately, sometimes people don't hear you until you scream. -- Stephanie Powers 1224. If I'm too strong for some people, that's their problem. - Glenda Jackson 1225. The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. -- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross 1226. Quitting is not going to make you strong. Living will. -- Christian Slater 1227. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge 1228. Music is love in search of a word. -- Sidney Lanier 1229. I never took drugs because I am drugs. -- Salvador Dali 1230." You love somebody and then you don't love them anymore. But if you really love somebody, you always love them, don't you? -- Cynthia Heimel 1231. When asked what he thought of western civilization, Ghandi replied, I think it would be an excellent idea. 1232. The pledge of allegience says 'liberty and justice for all.' Which part of 'all' don't you understand?" -- Pat Schroeder 1233. These opinions are mine, not those of the University of Virginia. It is the opinion of the University that I should be writing my dissertation. -- Cathy Moore 1234. My mother's obsession with 'the good scissors' always scared me a bit. It implied that somewhere in the house there lurked: the evil scissors." -- Tony Martin 1235. I did not risk my life on the beaches of Normandy to come back to this country and sit idly by while a bunch of hack politicians whittles away your heritage and mine. -- Sen Strom Thurmond 1236. Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels. 1237. The difference between the impossible and the possible, lies in a person's determination. -- Tommy Lasorda 1238. BE ALERT!!!! The world needs more lerts. -- Bill Verity - Penn State 1239. If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe. -- Abraham Lincoln 1240. If you want creative workers, give them time enough to play. -- John Cleese, comic actor (1939- ) 1241. Brasington's Ninth Law A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; A carefully planned one will take only twice as long. -- Ronald J. Fehd 1242. Your task is simple: remove the difference between how things should be and how they really are. -- Ashleigh Brillant pot-shot #4247 1243. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. -- Fritz Miller 1244. I wish I could change in you all the things I don't like about me. 1245. If you want creative workers, give them time enough to play. -- John Cleese, comic actor (1939- ) 1246. Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. -- Jack Benny 1247. The only difference between a rut and a grave is depth. -- author Jane Moore 1228. He was the first one to say good-bye and the last one to leave. -- re: beloved Don Sandford 1229. When the world pushes you to your knees ... You're in the perfect position to pray. -- Connie ? 1230. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. -- author Jane Moore in "Ex Files" 1231. Quitters never win. Winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots. -- Derel from SPSS newsgroup 1232. Adding more people to a late project only makes it later. -- Frederick Brooks 1233. Growth is the only evidence of life. -- John Henry Newman (Apologoa ProVita Sue 1864) 1234. By using your intelligence you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated. -- Ashleight Brillant 1235. Efficiency is intelligent laziness. -- David Dunham 1236. I do not know what I said until you tell me what you heard. -- Father Renaud 1237. Never invoke the gods unless you really want then to appear. It annoys them very much. -- G.K. Chesterton 1238. May the sun bring you strength by day, And the moon softly restore you by night, May the rain wash away your fears, And the breese invigorate your being, May you all the days of your life, walk gently through the world and know it's beauty. -- unknown 1239. An approximate answer to the right problem is worth a good deal more than an exact answer to an approximate problem, -- J.W. Tukey 1240. Don't let the turkeys get you down. 1241. At the early onset of Alzheimer's disease, my father and I would tell each other we loved each other and we would give each other a hug. As the years went by, and he could no longer verbalize my name, he recognized me as the man who hugged him. So when I would walk into the house, he would be there in his chair opening his arms for that hug, hello, and the hug, goodbye. It was blessing truly brought by God. -- Michael Reagan, as a eulogy to his father, President Ronald W. Reagan 1242. Too bad stupidty isn't painful. If you think education is expensive... Try ignorance. 1243. A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths. -- Ancient Chinese proverb 1244. To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, neices, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve...And the first thing He said was "DON'T". 1245. A smile is understood in all languages. -- Cal's Pictures (you should see this website!) 1246. Bending down to lift up another is good exercise for the heart. -- Unknown 1247. He who doesn't deny; admits. -- from Bush/Kerry campaign rhetoric 1248. "O wad some Pow'r the giftie he gie us, To see oursels as others see us..." -- Robert Burns 1249. "The only power they have is the power you give them." -- unknown 1250. Some of the best lessons we ever learn we learn from our mistakes and failures. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future. -- theologian Tyron Edwards 1251. You see, wire telegraph is kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way; you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -- Einstein 1252. The beggar laughs in the face of the thief. -- unknown 1253. The only title in our democracy superior to that of President is the title of citizen. -- Louis Brandeis 1254. Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half the people are right more than half the time. -- E.B. White (during WWII) 1255. Man has never made any material as resilient as the human spirit -- Bernard Williams - English philospher 1256. I was thinking about how some people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam. -- unknown 1257. Life is tough, but life is tougher if you are stupid. -- Bob Woodward 1258. "But working in South Bend [as football coach] is a masochist's delight. Every outing is a potential Waterloo for a coach." -- Michael Ventre NBCSports.com contributer 1259. A place is in order when there is a place for everything and everything is in its place." 1260. If you always try to stay organized, you probably won't ever have much sorrow, or much fun. -- RJF2 1261. A clean desk is a sign of an empty mind. -- Felix Frankfurter 1262. I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. -- Marshall LcLuhan cultural historian and communications theorist (1911-1980) 1263. I'm an engineer, I don't get paid to know, I get paid to know in which pile I put it. -- from Ron Fehd 1264. Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. -- Henry Ford 1265. Nobody does it better, and no one ever has. -- Matt Lauer - said about Tom Brokaw on his retirement from NBC news 1266. Life is a series of choices that we make that lead us to our destiny. -- unknown 1267. The only gift greater than the air in your lungs is the hand you hold in companionship. -- TV show JAG 1268. There is something about you that I can't stand about me. -- Dr. Phil 1269. Man gives information; God gives inspiration. -- Della Reese on "Touched By an Angel" 1270. If you stand by the river long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by. -- Sun Tzu, "The Art of War" 1271. Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want. -- Clive Barnes 1272. Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't. -- Erica Jong 1273. History is more or less bunk. -- Henry Ford 1274. Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. -- Edward De Bono 1275. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, fo this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down. -- Mary Pickford 1276. To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. -- Oscar Wilde 1277. Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. -- William Butler Yates 1278. Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power. -- Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) 1279. How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? -- Charles De Gaulle (1890-1970) 1280. Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back. -- Thomas Sowell (1930 - ) 1281. Make sure you have finished speaking before the audience has finished listening. -- Dorothy Sarnoff 1282. He who falls in love with himself, will have no rivals. -- Benjamin Franklin 1283. We are lone, absoluely alone on this chance planet; amid all forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us. -- Maurice Maeterlinck 1284. Personally I am lways ready to learn, although I do no always like being taught. -- Winston Churchill 1285. It is better to sleep on things beforehand tha lie awake about them afterward. -- Baltasar Gracin 1286. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. -- unknown 1287. Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at fiction listen to weather forecasts and econmists? -- Kelvin Throop III 1288. There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it is only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economic numbers. -- Richard Feynman (1918-1988) 1289. If we don't change directions soon, we'll end up where we are going. -- Professor Irwin Corey 1290. The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away. -- Ronald Reagan (1911-2004) 1291. An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. -- Alfred A. Knopf 1292. Why didn't Moses kill the two mosquitoes? -- unknown 1293. The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. -- Ivy Baker Priest 1294. Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. -- Aristotle 1295. The secret to a good memory is attention, and attention to a subject depends upon our interest in it. We rarely forget that which has made a deep impression on our minds. -- Tryon Edwards 1296. Creditors have better memories than deptors. -- Benjamin Franklin 1297. The palest ink is better than the best memory. -- Chinese Proverb 1298. The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times, the same good things for the first time. -- Freidrich Nietzsche 1299. There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted. -- James Branch Cabell 1300. He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying. -- Michel de Montaigne 1301. A woman is like a tea bag. You don't know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. ` -- unknown 1302. The three wise women would have: Asked directions Arrived on time Help deliver the baby Cleaned up the stables Made a casserole Brought practical gifts And there would have been peace on earth -- plaque in my physician's office 1303. Never take a job that has been done by someone brillant. If you do O.K., you will be seen as a failure. If you do very well, you will be seen as merely competent. 1304. The lower your career expectations, the more satisfied you will be. 1305. Never sound as angry as you feel in the work place. 1306. You will never regret learning to touch type. 1307. You will impress your boss more by arriving late and leaving late than by arriving early and leaving early 1308. No matter how nice you think you are, someone at work will hate you. but it 's not worth worrying about. 1309. Crazy don't mean stupid - my ex-wife's living proof." Det Lennie Briscoe - Law and Order (Jerry Orbach) 1310. The sucess of America has grown out of being better than our worst impulses. -- Mario Cuomo 1311. The right gets it wrong and the left doesn't get it. -- Rev. Jim Wallis on NBC nightly news talking about the election 1312. Anger is only one letter short of danger. 1313. Great minds discuss ideas: Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. 1314. He who loses money loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; He who loses faith loses all. 1315. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. 1316. When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we son't seethe one which has been opened for us. 1317. Don't go for looks; then can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seen bright. Find the one who makes your heart smile. 1318. Dream what you wan tot dream; go where you want oto go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. 1319. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. 1320. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make th most of everything that comes along their way. 1321. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. 1322. When you were born you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying. 1323. Don't count the years; count the memories.......... 1324. Never fear shadows; it only means light is nearby. 1325. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. 1326. How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on. 1327. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the longer you live. 1328. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. 1329. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? 1330. Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. 1331. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices everyday, how come nothing is free yet? 1332. You may be the only person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. 1333. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. 1334. Don't cry because it is over; smile because it happened. 1335. We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors... but they all exist very nicely in the same box. 1336. A truly happy person is one can enjoy the scenery on a detour. 1337. What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson 1338. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you sew. -- Robert Lewis Stevenson 1339. If you are going through hell, keep going. -- Sir Winston Churchill 1340. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -- Robert A. Heinlein 1341. To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with. -- Mark Twain 1342. Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. -- William Shakespeare 1343. You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person you cannot live without. -- Unknown 1344. A good friend is like a computer, he/she enters your life, saves you in his/her heart, and never "deletes" you from memory. 1345. Many people will walk in and out or your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. 1346. Please note that "QUOTES" is a verb and "Quotations" is the noun. One QUOTES someone and in so doing makes a quotation. -- Susan T. Case SCase@MellonWebster.com 1347. The wisdom of the wise and the experience of ages, may be perserved by quotations. -- Isaac Disraeli 1348. A book of quotations...can never be complete -- Robert M. Hamilton 1349. Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. -- Charles Caleb Colton 1350. If you judge people you have no time to love them. -- Mother Teresa 1351. Not all of us have to possess earthshaking talent. Just common sense and love will do. -- Myrtle Auvil 1352. Love is like a butterfly. Hold it too tight, it'll crush; hold it too loose and it'll fly. -- Unknown 1353. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you are with. -- Stephen Stills 1354. May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live. -- Robert A. Heinlein (maybe) 1355. Platonic love is like an inactive volcano. -- Andre Pevost 1356. Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. -- David Grayson 1357. To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others. -- Francois Mauric 1358. To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. -- Karen Sunde 1359. Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love. -- Mahatma Ghandi 1350. Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. 1351. A friend loves at all times. -- Proverbs 17:17 1352. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. -- Unknown 1354. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. -- Unknown 1355. You succeed when you get up one more time than you have fallen. -- Stephan White 1356. We do not inherit the world from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children -- Native American proverb 1357. If there hadn't been a Pearl Harbor, there wouldn't have been a Hiroshima. -- Enola Gay navigator - Theodore "Dutch" VanKirk 1358. Genealogy is where you confuse the dead and irritate the living. 1359. Only a genealogist regards a step backwards as progress. 1360. Genealogists live in the past lane. 1361. The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems. -- Mohandas Gandhi 1362. Genealogy begins as an interest, Becomes a hobby, Continues as an avocation, Takes over as an obsession, And in its last stages' Is an incurable disease. -- unknown 1363. Computers require exactitude, unlike in pitching horseshoes, close doesn't count. -- Brent Tarter 1364. Inside every older lady is a younger lady -- wondering what the hell happened! -- Cora Harvey Armstrong 1365. Inside me there lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies, -- Unknown 1366. The hardest years are those between ten and seventy. -- Helen Hayes (at 73) 1367. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -- Lily Tomlin 1368. A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -- Carrie Snow 1369. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -- Laurie Kuslansky 1370. Old age ain't no place for sissies. -- Bette Davis 1371. A man's got to do what a man got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -- Rhonda Hansome 1372. The phrase "working mother" is redundant. -- Jane Sellman 1373. Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows. -- Jennifer Unlimited 1374. Whatever woman must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this in not difficult. -- Charlotte Whitton 1375. Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and the body starts falling apart. -- Caryn Leschen 1376. If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -- Catherine 1377. When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they call ME lsow! -- Kathy Buckley 1378. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde. --Dolly Parton 1379. If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. -- Sue Grafton 1380. When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -- Elayne Boosler 1381. Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman. -- Myson Pearson 1382. In politics, if you want anything, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask woman. -- Margaret Thatcher 1383. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -- Gloria Steinem 1384. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor 1385. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you put in. -- Mr. Jones 92 yr old man 1386. Five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less. 1387. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 1388. A truly happy person is someone who can smile and enjoy the scenery on a detour. -- Toby Dunn 1389. When everything is coming at you at once, you're in the wrong lane. -- Toby Dunn 1390. Blind faith in bad leaders is not patriotism -- Ross C. "Rocky" Anderson Salt Lake City Mayor 1391. Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. -- Henri Louis Bergson 1392. No arsenal, no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. -- Ronald Reagan 1393. We live in the land of the free only because of the brave. -- Stuart Margel 1394. Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive and well perserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!" Have a wonderful day! -- unknown 1395. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun each year. 1395. Early is on time. On time is late! -- Bo Schembechler Michigan football coach 1396. Re: Steve Irwin - the crocodile hunter Steve'll be watching over all this most likely. With wide eyes and a grin he'll be saying "Cricky" What's all the fuss. Let's get on with the party and keep our earth all wild life hale and hardy. 1397. Old statisticians never die. They're just broken down by age and sex. -- More or Less (BBC radio statistics magazine) 1398. When one old timer was asked what the best thing was about turning 100, he said, "No peer pressure." -- Mike Celizic MSNBC.com 1399. "All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed; Second, it is violently opposed, Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -- Arthur Schopenhaur (1830) 1400. Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. -- Kathryn Carpenter 1401. There are no atheists in foxholes. 1402. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative the same night. 1403. If you had to identify, on one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings". 1404. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 1405. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 1406. Nobody cares if you can dance well. Just get up and dance. 1407. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 1408. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 1409. A coin is like your life, you can spend it any way you wish, but you can only spend it once. -- Unknown 1410. I am actually enjoying everything more than I ever have. God hasn't promised us tomorrow, but he has promised us eternity. -- Tony Snow - White House press secretary 5 weeks after recurrence of Ca 1411. Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought. -- Matsuo Basho 1412. You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough. -- William Blake, Proverbs of Hell 1413. Life is not measured by the quantity of breaths you take, but with the quantity of moments that took your breath away. -- Rachael Hale 1414. When your feet are cold, cover your head. -- Inuit saying 1415. I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business. -- Michael J. Fox 1416. When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. -- Gracie Allen (1906-1964) 1417. You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. -- Michael Pritchard 1418. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese! -- Unknown 1419. Some people spend a life time wondering if they made a difference. But, the Marines don't have that problem. -- Pres. Ronald Reagan 1420. If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under. -- Pres. Ronald Reagan 1421. Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: 1. Jesus Christ 2. The American G.I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. 1422. When England's Prime Minister Tony Blair was asked why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... And how many want out." -- Tony Blair 1423. Logic is an organized procedure for going wrong with confidence and certainity. -- C.F. Kettering, inventor 1424. By using your intelligence you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated. -- Ashleigh Brillant 1425. If you always try to be logical, you probably won't ever have much sorrow or much fun. -- Ashleigh Brillant 1426. There are good times and there are bad times. In whichever you find yourself, remember the axiom, "This too shall pass!" -- Necia Black -- I made this one up 1427. If you open the back door and shoot at the woods, it is not likely that you will bag breakfast. On the other hand, if you go into the woods and hunt where the animals live, the odds of gaining something to eat are greatly increased. -- Paul Drake, genealogist re: doing research 1428. I was never lost but I was bewildered once for three days. -- Daniel Boone 1429. Aspire to Inspire before you Expire. -- Unknown 1430. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly, Leave the rest to God -- Unknown 1431. Happiness keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong -- Unknown 1432. By using your intelligence you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated. -- Ashleigh Brillant 1433. Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon. -- Unknown 1434. If you believe, no proof is necessary. If you don't believe, no proof is possible. Peace and love!

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